You are what you allow yourself to be.

Written by Wally Amos

I used to blame others for the way I was.  I was twelve when my mother and father divorced.  I heard the fights and I knew they were not happy.  Still, it was a shock when my mother told me one day that she and my father were going to separate and I was being sent to New York City to live with my Aunt Della.  I wasn’t devastated.  I understood that it wasn’t my fault and I moved on with my life.

Years later, I told myself that I failed in my own marriages because I had not had the kind of loving example as a child that I needed to make the commitment that marriage required.   I told myself that I always wanted to keep the closeness with my sons that I lost with my own father when my parents divorced.  Yet, I failed to keep that promise to myself or to them.  I tried, but I was always busy on the road with the acts I was managing.  It wasn’t my fault, you see.

It took me a long time to come to grips with the fact that my failure to fully commit to my relationships was my own personal failure, not the result of a childhood trauma.  No one forced me to fall short.  I had allowed myself to be a disappointment because the grass was always greener on the other side of the street.  While I greatly regret the consequences of my shortfallings, I know that they made me the man that I am today.  I am still a work in progress.  But I take responsibility for my own decisions.  I wake up every morning, glad to be alive and aware that each day will be filled with as much happiness as I allow it to be.  It’s entirely up to me.


  1. Andrea   |  Thursday, 20 October 2011 at 5:01 am

    WOW — very sharp — ON THE MONEY! (I needed to read this…:-)

  2. Melissa Blackman   |  Thursday, 20 October 2011 at 8:31 am

    This was a wonderful article. I wish everyone would take responsibility for their action the way you do Wally. You are such an inspiration to everyone. Do you understand that? Do you know how much people look up to you and listen to everything that you say? The world would be a better place if everyone were just like you. Thank you Wally.

    You are our MR. INSPIRATION!


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